Pamella stands outside, under a tree, holding a sign advocating for the rights of women and girls. © Pamella Mubeza
When Pamella speaks about home, her voice carries both the pain of exile and the resilience of someone who has survived it. Originally from Burundi, Pamella never imagined that speaking out about women’s rights could cost her everything—but it nearly did.
By Zeba Tasci in Ottawa, Canada
“Where I’m from, women are not allowed to make decisions about their own bodies. There are no sexual or reproductive rights. If a woman is beaten, the first question people ask is: what did you do wrong?” Pamella recalls. “To speak out against that reality is to put yourself in danger.”
Though she never considered herself a political activist, simply standing up for gender equality made her a target. “At the time, just being vocal—just questioning—was seen as oppositional. People were jailed. People disappeared. I had to flee to save my life.”
She left behind two young children, both under four. Her youngest was only just over a year old. “It broke my heart to leave them,” she says, tears welling up. “When we were reunited, they asked me why I left them. I told them it was like on a plane—you have to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. I left to survive, so I could fight for them, so we could all live.”
Finding sanctuary in Canada
When Pamella arrived in Canada as a refugee, everything was foreign—especially the weather. “In Burundi, if the sun is shining, it’s warm. Here, the sun can shine and you’re still freezing,” she laughs.
But what shook her most was something deeper. “In Burundi, if you’re hurt, they ask what you did to deserve it. Here, people ask, Are you okay? Should we call the police? You have rights. You are a whole person.”
Arriving to Canada with very little, she found the cost of housing nearly impossible. “Where I’m from, the rent for a month in Canada is what people earn in three or four months. It was very hard.” She found a turning point in her journey through a chance encounter at a store in 2016, when someone mentioned Carty House, a transitional home for refugee women. Curious, she reached out—and it changed her life.
“Carty House was the first place in Canada that felt like a home.”
– Pamella
“You arrive with nothing, mentally you’re fighting traumas, trying to adapt to your new reality. You’ve left your children, your country. You’re alone. And then—someone opens the door to you.” She lived there for nearly two years. “We were women from all over the world, some only spoke English, some French, some didn’t speak either, but we were in the same boat. We laughed together, we cried together. It was healing to have a community of women who truly knew the struggles you struggled, who understood the challenges you faced and overcame – as women.”
More than shelter
Carty House does more than offer a bed. It helps rebuild lives. It is the only house dedicated to refugee women in the Ottawa area, providing critical supports and offering a welcoming community where refugee women have access to a safe and supportive first home. Arriving to Canada, her credentials were not recognized, Pamella went back to school, eventually earning her Master’s in Conflict Studies, and credits the support from Carty House for helping her make that leap.
“They helped with everything—taking you to the hospital, learning to drive, going with you to court. Even clothes. They, with Dress for Success, even helped with clothing and finding work wear for interviews and jobs. It seems small, but it’s so meaningful when you come with nothing and have to learn the customs and norms of a new place.”
Perhaps even more importantly, it offered community.
“You could cook your own food. Paint your nails. Sit and talk. Cry if you needed to. The women working there—they listen to you. They carry so much, but they never make you feel like a burden. They let you go through the emotions and journey to be you again.”
– Pamella
With the support of Carty House, Pamella was able to attend Saint-Paul’s University, earning a Masters in Conflict Studies. © Pamella Mubeza
Giving back, growing roots
Now, Pamella gives back by volunteering with Carty House, where she sees herself as an ambassador for new arrivals. One of her closest friends in Canada, Marilyn Hanley, is someone she met during her stay there. The bond they share is unshakeable. “She was a volunteer when I lived there. She’s really become someone so close.”
She compares her journey to a tree being uprooted. “When a tree is uprooted, there are only two options —it will either die or be replanted and grow stronger. You never know how it will go, it’s a chance. Even when you’re replanted and lucky enough to survive, you lose all your leaves. But in time, new buds come. New life begins.”
Eventually, Pamella’s children did join her in Canada. Over time, they began to rebuild their lives together. She now lives in her own space, having moved out of Carty House, and is working with the Federal Government, using her experience to support others who are navigating similar struggles.
A space for healing, a path for change
Pamella is passionate about advocating for refugee women, especially those affected by conflict. “Women are double, sometimes triple victims in war,” she explains. “During conflict, women are treated as objects – taken as spoils of war. We are raped, beaten, and the worst part is that we are often left out of peace talks. To have a space to come, heal and rebuild ourselves—it’s a blessing.” She pauses, her voice steady but full of emotion. “Without Carty House, I don’t know where I would be. I don’t even know who I would be.” Pamella continues to be deeply engaged in her local community, working every day to make life better for everyone around her.
Her story is one of strength, loss, healing—and above all, hope. Through courage and community, Pamella has not only survived, but helped others bloom in the same soil that once felt foreign.
